(Source: shadesofsoylu, via westsideluv)
artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.
its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post
(Source: swisherfobia, via maruchanmami)
BPD through my eyes
- constantly questioning if my friends hate me
- ignoring my friends and family because I don’t deserve any
- staying silent around people in fear I’ll say the wrong thing or no one will care
- not being able to keep a job more than 6 months because they become boring
- feeling like I’m not myself and I know nothing about myself
- changing what I want to do with my life before I even start anything
- abandoning anyone that gets too close
- scared that everyone will abandon me and they hated me all along
- using drugs because fuck it
- thinking that I hate the people I care about when I’m angry
- hurting myself and carving negative words into my arms
- losing my appetite for days and wanting to be thinner when I know I’m thin
- obsessing over people and thinking of them every damned day
- ruining all my friendships by pretending to not exist
- hiding in my house until I feel as if the walls are closing in and driving my self crazy
- not showing up for interviews
- sleeping in my car and disappearing from anyone I know for awhile
- being scared to be alone but canceling on all my plans
- blocking and unblocking people
- thinking you’re the biggest piece of shit in the world and loving you unconditionally a few moments later
- scared that everytime you leave you might die while you’re gone
- trying to get close with my siblings but only sometimes
- having sex and then discarding people afterwards (not anymore I’m trying to make my relationship work this time)
- starting to talk to people and thinking I may actually like them and then leaving without explanation
- cheating on past partners or getting involved with people in relationships
- constantly questioning my sexuality and changing it
- making decisions before I think about any of it
- thinking about marriage but then being scared off because of my commitment issues
- working my ass off for what I thought I wanted but still feeling empty
- doing things I don’t even like because I want to be a certain way or feel good about myself
- denying I’m depressed when people ask but wanting to talk to someone about it
- thinking about getting professional help but not being able to go through with it
- looking in the mirror and thinking I look cute but only moments later I’ll never look good enough
- never living up to my own standards because I have to be perfect even though I’m nothing
- constantly questioning my past decisons and if I’d be happier If I changed everything
- feeling completely content for a couple hours or days and then hating my whole life and wanting to die
- denying that anything is wrong with me and then accepting my mental illness sometimes
- striving to do better just to completely self destruct when I make something for myself
- calling the people I love horrible names in my head when I’m mad because it would be too cruel to say
- telling myself I hate hate hate someone when most the time I love them
- having people say I’m manipulative when I never had the intention
- being clingy then distant then clingy
- making plans and apologizing for not being around as much just to not show up without warning
I hate the things I do, I wish I would be consistent with people because I end up hurting them. I make impulsive decisions without even briefly thinking about the outcomes because I just want happiness. Nothing ever makes me necessarily happy or upset it’s back and forth and I’m not even sure if I’ve ever been truly happy before. Or what I like to do. I don’t feel like I’m a real person just a empty shell sometimes. Just floating around completely lost in my own life.
(Source: fisprettyinpunk)
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